Haruka Oneshots
by Shoujo's Revenge
Summary: Chapter 2/Haruka reminisces about her first kiss. slight Haruka x Usagi, Haruka x Michiru
1. Baking

**The Haruka Files **By Phoenix Kaen

Summary: A collection of funny Haruka one-shots written by me.

Disclaimer: Naoko Takeuchi owns Sailor Moon, not I.

A/N: There might be some pairings such as Usagi/Haruka, Minako/Haruka and of course, Michiru/Haruka. Basically, they're all shoujo-ai pairings and if you can't hack it, then leave.

Chapter 1- Baking Cookies

_Thoughts-italic_

_**Memories- italic and bold**_

"No! Usagi! No!" Haruka yelled when Usagi turned on the blender with the top off. _Too late. _Haruka thought as the cookie batter flew everywhere in the kitchen.

"Ahh!" Usagi screamed when she got a full serving of the mixture in her face. The blender was still whirring loudly. The blonde ditz thought it was a 'great idea' if she saved some time by letting the blender mix the cookie batter for her. Haruka slapped her forehead.

"Ah, Michi's going to kill me when she comes home," she sighed with a sweat drop. "How the hell did I get mixed into this?" _Oh, wait, I know. _

"_**Waahhh!" Haruka was drying her short sandy hair with a white towel when she heard the familiar cry in the kitchen. Peeking in, her guess were confirmed. It was indeed Usagi who had emitted the cry. Setsuna and Michiru surrounded the girl that was sitting on a stool near the kitchen counter. **_

"_**It's okay, Usagi. I'm sure nothing's wrong. He's probably just busy with exams," Michiru said loudly over the blonde's crying. **_

"_**Yes, that's probably it," Setsuna said equally loud. Haruka walked up behind her girlfriend and delivered a soft spank. **_

"_**Yo, what's up?" Haruka said playfully.**_

"_**Oh! Haruka!" Michiru said with a visible blush. She turned abruptly to the tomboy. "Right now is not the time! Can't you see we're trying to cheer poor Usagi up?" **_

"_**What's wrong with koneko?" She asked. That just made Usagi cry even louder. The three of them winced. **_

"_**It seems a certain someone hasn't been paying much attention to her," Michiru said carefully.**_

"_**Who? Mamoru?"**_

"_**SHH!" The two women shushed the clueless cross dresser. At the mention of his name, the volume of Usagi's cries increased. Haruka covered her mouth with her hand muffling the girl. Setsuna and Michi shot her a 'how could you be so insensitive' look. **_

"_**You shouldn't cry over this, Usagi-chan. It's probably as they said earlier; Mamoru's busy with schoolwork. It's not easy being in college, you know." She said trying to cheer up the solemn girl. Usagi mumbled something that failed to reach their ears. **_

"AAAHHH! Runaway blender!" Usagi screamed with an iron pot over her head. She ran away to the living room with the blender hot in pursuit. A batch of sticky cookie batter landed on the left side of Haruka's side as they passed by. It slowly dripped down her left eye.

"ERRGGHH! Usagi, would you stop running?! You're gonna get the stuff in the living room!" With a snap of her hand, she wiped the stuff off her head. _Ah, right. I still have to finish the story. _

"_**What?" Haruka finally let go of the girl. **_

"_**I bet you don't ignore Michiru when you're busy with homework. At least you still talk to her. Mamo-chan has been completely ignoring me." Usagi whispered. **_

"_**Have you tried wearing a bunny suit like the women in playboy?" Haruka suggested which earned her two slaps in the head.**_

"_**WOULD YOU GET SERIOUS!" Michiru and Setsuna yelled simultaneously. The wind seishi clutched her aching head.**_

"**_OW! I was just kidding, you know! Besides, Michiru would look hotter in the bunny suit!" Another slap. This time she was knocked to the ground with swirls in her eyes. When Haruka came to, she was somehow assigned to assisting Usagi in baking. It was Michiru's brilliant idea and Setsuna second the idea. The idea was to bake cookies so Usagi could get Mamoru's attention and this was how _this _happened:_**

"Die, evil blender, die!" Haruka yelled, whacking the blender with a broom. Usagi was hiding behind the teal sofa and peeking over the top to see if the 'evil' blender died. "It's all right, koneko. You can come out now. It's dead," she said to the scared odango head.

"We're home!" Setsuna announced opening the front door. Michiru was holding young Hotaru's hand and smiling happily at her.

"Did you like the zebras, Hotaru?" She asked. The dark-haired girl nodded with a smile.

"I liked the lions, too," Hotaru said. "And the elephants, the giraffes, the tigers…" She continued to list zoo animals.

"Good," Michiru said, helping her take off the mauve coat.

"What the-?!" Setsuna's alarmed cry alerted Michiru.

"Setsuna! What is it? What's the mat-AHHHHHH! My home!" Michiru screamed, taking in the sight.

"Michiru, Setsuna!" Haruka gulped. She dropped Usagi who fell flat on her face.

"What happened here!" Michiru demanded, gesturing to the battered covered walls, ceiling, the sofa and well, basically everything. She failed to notice Hotaru who sneaked in the room. She walked to the nearby wall. Her finger ran through the gooey substance on it and she licked it off.

"Yummy!" She exclaimed happily.

"Um, well, we were baking cookies like you said," Haruka explained meekly. Usagi smiled nervously and nodded weakly behind her.

"You were baking cookies in the living room?!" Michiru and Setsuna had their hands on their hips.

"Well, no, we were baking cookies in the kitchen then the blender escaped in here."

"'The blender escaped?' The blender _did _something as in a noun?" Setsuna questioned skeptically. "Haruka, you've got to come up with a better explanation than that."

"But it's true! It's-" She stopped her flustering and looked at the women. "Oh, no, you don't. This wasn't my idea in the first place. Don't blame me for this. This was your brilliant idea."

"Haruka, we told you to help Usagi make cookies, not help her mess things up." Setsuna said.

"Grr!" Haruka's temper was of the breaking limit. "Mamoru!" She screamed through her gritted teeth, triggering Usagi's loud sobbing. "Deal with THAT!" With that, she ran out the front door and slammed it. Michiru and Setsuna looked with disbelief at the door. It opened and Haruka stormed in. She grabbed Michiru's face and delivered a forceful kiss.

"How was your day, baby?" She asked nicely when she broke the kiss. Then she went to Hotaru and tossed her playfully into the air.

"Whee!" Hotaru cried gleefully. Haruka set the child down again and went out the house again, slamming the door.

A/N: Um…If you want me to update, then review.


	2. Haruka's First Kiss

Chapter 2: Usa Usa of the Moon

Author: Shoujo's Revenge

Summary: Haruka reminisces about her first kiss. Haruka x Usagi, Haruka x Michiru

A/N: I think that the Usagi x Haruka pairing is pretty cute but the Haruka x Michiru pairing is my favorite SM couple.

Haruka, where are you?" Haruka could hear Michiru's voice float out the window.

"On top of the roof!" Haruka shouted loud enough for Michiru to hear.

"What are you doing out there?" Michiru asked, sticking her head out of the upstairs window.

"Oh, nothing. Just looking at the beautiful stars and the full moon." Haruka shouted plainly, resting on her back and staring at the sky above her. "And watching out for the rabbit on the moon." She added in a whisper. Young Hotaru was sleeping on her Haruka-papa's chest. Haruka's green jacket covered her tiny frame as she snored lightly in her sleep. It was also on a beautiful night like this when Haruka and a certain someone had gotten their first kisses. The moon hung in the sky like a crystal ball. The dotted stars seemed to wink down at the two of them.

Haruka had gotten her first kiss about nine years ago...

"What are you looking at?" A six-year-old girl had asked Haruka. The latter was lying on the grassy hill, looking up at the dark night sky when Usagi's face blocked her view.

"I'm looking for the rabbit on the moon," Haruka answered nonchalantly, not taking her big eyes off the moon.

"The rabbit of the moon?" Usagi asked with curiosity. She put an index finger to her bottom lip, also looking towards the moon.

"They say you can see the rabbit during the full moon."

"Have you seen anything yet?"

"Nope. That's why I'm still out here."

"Usa-chan will wait out here with you," Usagi declared cheerfully. She sat down beside Haruka, who heard the grass rustle under Usagi's weight. The odango-atama looked up at the sparkling sky.

"Wow! The stars are so beautiful!" She exclaimed with delight, clapping her hands together.

"Naturally," Haruka said carelessly again.

Usagi didn't notice Haruka's flat tone. She was too captivated by the tiny pinpricks of light. Five, ten, twenty minutes then finally it seemed like an hour had passed but still no rabbit shaped shadows appeared. Haruka was starting to think that this rabbit thing was a hoax. She rolled over on her side to find that Usagi was fast asleep.

"Odango-atama?" She nudged Usagi's shoulder to wake her up. Usagi fussed, opened her eyes and sat up while rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"What is it? Oh! Did you see the rabbit on the moon?!" Usagi gasped, abruptly turning to face the moon.

"Nope, I think it's just one of those lies that grown ups tell you."

"Oh..." Usagi said with disappointment.

"All the same, I think I'll just lay out here for a while," the sandy-haired girl said, lying on her back again.

"Are you sad?" Usagi asked, her head blocking the view again. The light from the moon behind Usagi illuminated her angelic face. A realization hit Haruka like a ton of bricks. Haruka's widened eyes stared at the girl.

"Auughh! Usagi means 'rabbit!" Haruka reacted, pointing at her. Usagi tilted her head adorably at the humorously shocked expression on the tomboy's face. _I've been looking for the rabbit of the moon when she's been next to me along! _

"Usa-ko! Usa-ko! Where are you?" A familiar voice called from below the hill. Usagi turned her head towards the voice.

"That's Mamo-chan!" Usagi exclaimed brightly. She got up too excitedly and lost her balance. She fell face first onto Haruka. Usagi quickly drew back from Haruka's lips, blushing.

She covered her mouth with her small hands. Haruka's cheeks were stained with crimson, too.

"Usa-ko! Hurry up or all the chocolate will be gone soon!" Mamoru called again.

"Okay, Mamo-chan!" Usagi called, not taking her eyes off Haruka. "Um...Bye now. Ah, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to say sorry." She said, smiling lightly. Haruka watched her future queen run down the hill. Her golden pigtails bouncing up and down in the moonlight. Haruka touched her lips with her fingertips. "My first kiss..."

A soft voice whispering in Haruka's ear brought her back to the present. "Huh?"

"I asked you what you were thinking about," Michiru said, lying on the rooftop with Haruka. She placed her hand across Hotaru's slumbering body.

"Nothing special." Haruka said plainly. Michiru laid her head on Haruka's shoulder, her eyes closed. Haruka put her arm around Michiru's shoulders and pulled her closer.

_I might have gotten my first kiss from Usagi, our princess and future queen but I'd rather have a last kiss from you. _Haruka thought as she kissed the top of Michiru's head.

"Haruka?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you see our princess' castle on the moon?"

"No." Haruka closed her eyes and imagined Usagi's face illuminated by the moon's glow. "But I can see the rabbit eating chocolate on the moon." Michiru blinked in confusion. Hotaru was awakened by her papa's laughter and shaking body.

A/N: If you wish to read more, then you have to review or I just won't bother. After all, I can go on another 5 months hiatus. I have my own stories to write besides fanfiction.


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